I'm a peaceful man by nature. I'm content to let the bureaucrats and the soldiers wage their wars while I go my own way, mind my own business ... look out for number 1. But no matter how peaceful or intent on going ones own way a man is, a fight will find him. And as the fight approaches the man will find his instincts come to the fore. The hair on the back of his neck will raise, muscles tense, his attention will focus on the objective alone. Before you can think it's happening and you're into the fucking fray.
This is the situation I presently find myself in.
Dramatic isn't it?
Well I've exaggerated a bit.
The other day I was resting in my apartment and, it being Saturday, the resting was good. Coco, who I've started dating again, was cleaning the apartment and singing Chinese pop songs and I was watching movies and listening to music, eagerly anticipating the English soccer games that would play on TV that night. Little Punk was in the other room, doing whatever it is she does. Writing poems, or singing songs to herself ... living in her own world. This was the usual relaxing Saturday that had come to be what I expected of a weekend. This was the day that all would change.
Nobody could have seen this coming. You could have gone to all the fortune tellers across all four corners of the globe, and they wouldn't have seen it. And I, being me, definitely did not see it. Coco, for her part, would later say that she saw it coming. I don't believe her.
This particular Saturday was the day that Little Punk would choose to confess her undying love for me.
I don't know who reads this and who doesn't, but the people who studied in CIEE with me spring 2006 semester might know ... if they frequented my apartment at all. My friends back home almost surely do not know who she is, and anyone else may know who she is ... but only by proxy. I'm not going to explain who she is. She is a girl who only goes by the name Little Punk, and she is just that. I may be willing to explain on a case by case basis, so email me if you want to know.
It came as quite a shock to me, and to Coco as well. Ever since I had known Little Punk we had never had this type of relationship. She had always liked Justin or Eric or Andrew, not me, and I was fine with that, I had coco then, and I had her now.
So as Little Punk stood there in her stripped socks and suspenders telling Coco and I how she loved me, and how it would be best for everyone if I left Coco and was with her instead, there were no words that came to me. It seemed the same for Coco, we both just sat there mouth's agape wondering what would happen next. I got my answer in the form of a loud, shrill, piercing scream from Coco's mouth.
"WHAT THE FUCK!" Coco screamed in Chinese accented, Italian accented English.
This is the part where everything broke down.
Coco was up in a flurry of motion .... her body transformed into a whirling dervish of fists and elbows as she carved out a path of destruction aimed directly at poor Little Punk. I stepped into her warpath to protect Little Punk and caught most of the blows on my face and shoulders. But I was alright. I had to drag Coco into my bedroom and hold her down while she vented her fury. Little Punk, completely oblivious to the situation as usual, entered the room and started asking what was wrong. Coco then went into crazy mode and it was all I could do to keep her pinned to the bed.
I finally got Little Punk to leave, though she didn't understand the need for it, and I started the long process of talking Coco down from her red fury. I won't get you involved in that ... it would just take too long. But it's important that you know I was successful. Although I had gotten Coco to calm herself, she still talked about stabbing Little Punk in the eyes, so I decided it was best if I asked Little Punk to leave.
After some argument with her about how this wasn't fair to her, and why did she always like guys at the wrong time, or after they were always seeing someone else. There wasn't really an answer I could give her for that, except sorry ... and that right now she had to leave.
I felt bad to usher her out like that ... but I really did think Coco would have killed her, so this was best for everyone involved. Since then, Coco has returned to her normal pleasant self, and I have been receiving constant text messages from Little Punk. They mainly concern the unfairness of the situation and the agony of being alone. With healthy doses of "I'm so High" and "please come and take me away" thrown in; I'm sure they will continue for a long time.
That was my Saturday, sorry for the overly dramatic nature of the post; I'm hopped up on Coca-Cola and the City Diner is playing an endless loop of the White Album, so I'm in the mood.
4.03.2007
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4 comments:
Sounds like it's time for a cathartic threesome.
Get your secret admirer to apologize to Coco. Then set up some candles around the apartment. Get them smashed on champagne. Now it's time for a little round of truth or dare. Steering it into a threesome from there shouldn't be much of a problem.
Coco didn't like Xiao Punk last Spring... I can't imagine she would like her any more now... Although this sounds amazing to watch. Why couldn't she confess a year ago?
Mason
i refuse to post
in submitting your refusal you have become the very thing that you hate. The deepest depths of hell are reserved for scum like you.
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